Getting tougher by the day !!!

Last weekend two of my friends left for India... which cut short our gang to three... though I was not able to comprehend the impact beforehand, I was extremely sad when I saw them go... it felt like a family really... I felt the first jolt today morning when I suddenly woke up to nothing.. to no one actually... I got ready in silence, didnt even bother to have my breakfast, threw away half of my coffee all the while thinking whether its going to be like this only for the rest of my 10 month stay in US.... its very unlike me to be so pessimistic.... but then I guess thats the way it works here... its an unknown foreign land.. u tend to cling to people you are able to form a bond with... sharing small pleasures of life... its only when they have to leave or move for some reason that you realize that dependency should be kept to minimum round here....

m loosing track of my funds !!!

Now this is a serious issue round here... u dont know what to think if ur money calculations go haywire round here coz a difference of 50 dollar means a damn 2500... u dont seem to know if you should care about the 10 dollars u took from a friend coz back in india returning 10 bucks was out of question.... I created a nice excel sheet with lots of columns; amount, money taken from, returned or not n all that crap... even thought of programming it to hold all my money matters.. lol..... but I kept it in some folder and lost track... wufffff......

Now I am back to square one... somehow my expenditures seem to be non-stop... I hope it stabilizes after a while... everybody says so atleast.... till that time my money is a mess... like my cupboard... :P

It's harder than I thought it would be :(

I thought I'll go all out and make the most of my trip in US... But I dont think it is going to be so... atleast the start is dismal... ofcourse there are patches when I am extremely happy and in a u-can't-stop-me-i'll-have-fun mood... there are phases when I feel like setting up everything nicely, putting all my things in place, cooking something delicious.... basically I feel good... but like I said; they are just patches or phases... the major chunk of my routine is spent in thoughtless thinking these days.... I go to these cool places where everybody else would be absolutely excited to go... But m not affected... they are all awesome but somehow they don't click... I'd rather be back in India... this one is a honest word... I seriously believe now that no place can be better than my country... I have come to realize that there is nothing here which is not there back home.... but there are a awful lot of things which I find missing here... well here's the difference.. m not sure if I'll be able to put it in the right way but... "people here are forthcoming and friendly right from the begining... no doubt its a culture here to smile at a complete stranger.. but then that's it... everything stops right at the surface.. m not sure if anybody gets closer to anybody else's personal space beyond that... back home however, people might be a bit restrained at first but once they open up, they enter the innermost realms of each others lives"... so I dont know which way is better but I'd rather go with the latter... coz this one clicks....